Quiet time

I love morning nap time. I’m not sure how I’ll manage work in the Fall when I won’t get these 1-2 hour time periods where she’s asleep and I just get to REST and recharge, sipping coffee slowly. Work might be a break of its own, but I’ll still be surrounded by children. It’s a huge reason why I haven’t substitute taught for a whole year, despite being qualified, or why I haven’t applied to teaching positions for the fall.

I’m hoping her sleep continues to improve and therefore I’ll have less need of this time. It slowly is.

I think a huge part of the tiredness of being a parent for me though is the over stimulation. Even when doing childcare or teaching martial arts or teaching in school I would have to sit in silence for at least an hour after work to just feel human again after constant noise and activity. This is what I expected from parenting, and why I didn’t want to have a kid right away. I knew I’d need these moments of quiet.

Sometimes I feel like I’m a bad parent for detaching myself any chance I get – as soon as she’s in someone else’s care I disconnect. I feel I do this multiple times in a day. The problem is it’s not as refreshing as when she’s asleep or fully in someone else’s care because I still am physically present and feel a string connected to my child.

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